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The Private Boater is Readily Earthquake Prepared

We were talking about Japan the other day (just like the rest of the world) and somebody mentioned the run on potassium-iodide tablets at the pharmacies. Then we started talking about the overall lack of preparedness in general here in the golden earthquake state. In our opinion, there’s going to be two groups ready for the kind of disaster that shuts the whole state down: The first group is the survivalist nut job (no offense if this is you, I mean it in the most positive way possible). And the second (more socially acceptable group) is the private boater.

Now I know there’s a bunch of backpackers out there who think they’re just as ready as the whitewater rafter and maybe they are. But if you think you and your family are going to be happy stuffed in a ultralight tent, eating your freeze dried chili mac cooked over a 15 BTU single burner white gas stove, you might want to take a moment to think just a little harder.

The private boater on the other hand has everything a family needs to live comfortably for at least a week. Heck, if you’re anything like me, you live better on the river anyway. So let’s look at what’s sitting in the garage waiting for the word go.

Shelter: Not only does the private boater have a nice big tent (its big because we’re not worried about weight, only comfort), but we have an oversized wing shelter (or at least a huge tarp) as well. Of course, we’ll be using our rafting oars to keep the shelter high enough that we can walk, talk, sit and cook comfortably. So rain or sun, we’ll be doing alright.

Water: Maybe the main waterline is ruptured, but I don’t know a single private boater who hasn’t got at least three 5 gallon water jugs available. Fill ‘em up. Put ‘em away. Be ready.

Kitchen: The private boater has a serious outdoor kitchen ready to roll. You might have complained about the cost of your Partner stove when you bought it, but you won’t be complaining when you pull it out from under a ton of collapsed crap from your garage without a scratch on it. Hook it up to one of your two 20lb propane tanks and you’ll fire up 10,000 BTUs on each burner. That’s more cooking power than most people have indoors. Plus, you’ve probably got a Partner Blaster as well. Need pasta water boiling quickly for the whole neighborhood? Put a match to the Blaster and its 120,000 BTUs will give you 5 gallons of boiling water in minutes. And you’ve already got a large cooler where you can store all those items that would otherwise spoil in your refrigerator

And when you’re finished eating, you’ll have a dish line ready to go. Using the exact same river camping equipment you’ve used on all those great trips down the Salmon and the Rogue, only this time the importance of having your dinnerware bacteria-free is even higher than usual.

Toilet: The world may collapse around you but if you and yours have a clean toilet and a sanitary way to dispose of your waste, you’ll be living the high life compared to many, many others. Every private boater is ready for this. Whether you’re using the rocket box with an EcoSafe, the PETT bag system or the Restop five gallon commode and bag system, you’ll be self-contained and sanitary until things are on their way back to normal.

First Aid Kit: Luckily you won’t have to scrounge around the house trying to find every band-aid and bottle of hydrogen peroxide you’ve got stuffed under one of your bathroom sinks somewhere. You’ve already got a first aid kit ready, probably in a Pelican Box, so its easy to grab, crush proof and watertight.

The headlamps, the watertight, rodent-proof dryboxes, the dutch ovens, the camp chairs, the paco pads – they’re all items you’ll need in the case of that really, really big disaster we’ve all been expecting and trying to pretend won’t happen at the same time. And unlike guy who spends his weekends following Nascar, you the private boater, have everything you need already.

And if you don’t, you’ll be able to use the “big one” as your excuse to buy it.

Of course, the biggest advantage of being a private boater over a whacko survivalist is that the FBI isn’t marking your name down on a list for surveillance even as you read this.

2 Comments

  1. don't forget the intoxibox…

  2. so where is the fire blanket under that firepan?

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